Day 220 of University

A couple of weeks ago I went to visit my Granddad's grave. I hadn't been in about a year and I guess I thought that things wouldn't have changed, that I'd be able to feel as close to him as I alway used to. But everything just felt wrong. I guess what I really wanted was to feel close to my nan. Her funeral didn't help because it didn't feel like she was there and neither did watching her ashes be buried. I want to be able to feel close to her, just one last time, so I can say goodbye. But I don't know how I can do that.

It feels weird at the moment, being bavk at my parents because I'd got used to my student house. I can move back in later this month, though I don't have the money  to be buying my own food and stuff so I might have to wait till September. I should be getting some money back off uni for the cost of the fieldwork, but that won't be till late September so I need to make do till then.

I'm going camping next weekend, with my dad, my boyfriend and my brother, his fiancée and their kid. I'm looking forward to spending time with my nephew and I like camping so it should be good.

I just feel really unsettled at the moment, but when I'm back at uni it will be fine. Things seem bettet when I get settled into a routine. When I'm back in my student house I'll be able to go to uni to start making my digital maps, which I'm really looking forward to.

Day 188 of university

Only one more week to go of my mapping project. It seems hard to believe that I've managed 4 weeks of it so far. I'm still having a bad reaction to the insect bites, but I'm managing. I can't wait to be back home though. It'll be nice to be able to sleep in my own bed again and to not have to be doing work everyday.

I'm still not feeling too good and I'm still struggling to sleep but I'm feeling a bit better than I was. It probably helps that I know it won't be too long now till I'm home. I'll be seeing my boyfriend when I'm back and then a few days after I'll be back at my parents which will be nice. It'll be good to not have to cook every night and to be able to have some time to relax. Maybe when my mapping is done I'll be able to sleep better, I hope so.

I'll be able to see my pet snails again, I've missed them a lot. I might even have some beans and stuff from my garden ready to pick for them. That'd be nice.