A couple of weeks ago I went to visit my Granddad's grave. I hadn't been in about a year and I guess I thought that things wouldn't have changed, that I'd be able to feel as close to him as I alway used to. But everything just felt wrong. I guess what I really wanted was to feel close to my nan. Her funeral didn't help because it didn't feel like she was there and neither did watching her ashes be buried. I want to be able to feel close to her, just one last time, so I can say goodbye. But I don't know how I can do that.
It feels weird at the moment, being bavk at my parents because I'd got used to my student house. I can move back in later this month, though I don't have the money to be buying my own food and stuff so I might have to wait till September. I should be getting some money back off uni for the cost of the fieldwork, but that won't be till late September so I need to make do till then.
I'm going camping next weekend, with my dad, my boyfriend and my brother, his fiancée and their kid. I'm looking forward to spending time with my nephew and I like camping so it should be good.
I just feel really unsettled at the moment, but when I'm back at uni it will be fine. Things seem bettet when I get settled into a routine. When I'm back in my student house I'll be able to go to uni to start making my digital maps, which I'm really looking forward to.
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