Day 181 of university

I cut myself yesterday. I suppose it was just the build up of everything got too much. I'm really worried about my mapping project and I thought I'd at least sorted out having people look after my snails.

My boyfriend had agreed to look after them till my parents got back from holiday but he sprung on me that he had to go home to look after his pets whilst his parents are away. He'd known for ages as well, like before I asked him to look after my snails.

I just feel like I can't rely on him anymore because he keeps doing this to me. We make plans and then he just announces last minute that he's doing something else or he just can't be bothered spending time doing stuff with me. I feel like we barely talk anymore and we barely do anything together. Even though he pretty much lives at mine. He spends most of his time here watching YouTube videos and doesn't seem to be interested in making any time for me. Even just letting me sit with him and watch something together would be nice.

I feel like I'm on my own again, but it's worse because I shouldn't be because he's there. Next year we'll be living together and he'll have his own room and I feel like that just means I'll see him even less.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do because I suggest things we could do together but he's not interested. He won't even sit and talk to me without going on his phone and ignoring me. And it's difficult for me to sit there and try to talk to him when he is listening, let alone when he's not.

But I'm sure it's fine. I'll have finished this year of uni soon and then I'll be home with my parents and my brother and everything will be fine. I can't wait to go home, I've missed them.