Last night I overdosed on Mirtazapine, doubling my dose to help me sleep. This is the third time I have done it in the past couple of weeks. My doctor didn't notice that I ran out of tablets a week earlier than I should have so I guess everything's ok.
I should be happy now I've got a place at university. I start in three weeks but I'm already struggling to see how I will be able to get through the studying and exams without drinking alcohol. It's the only thing that kept me alive last time.
It seems stupid but I can't stop thinking about my ex-boyfriend. It makes me feel sick, as though he is still touching me. I shouldn't have felt like that; I should have wanted to touch him back. I keep telling myself that he was just the wrong person, but I'm scared that the truth is that I'm only interested in girls. My dad would hate me if he found out. Everyone would hate me; I hate myself.
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