I had this 'great' idea that keeping myself busy would make me feel better. But I feel so exhausted right now. I feel like I've barely slept since I started back at uni. I've been to some pretty good workshops and lectures though in my spare time. It's great seeing people that are so passionate about geography and geology; it gives me hope. But at the same time I'd love a weekend to just lay in bed and relax.
I've got eczema on my hands and feet and it's got so much worse in the past few days. I can't stop itching it and it just makes it worse. I've never had eczema before and everyone's saying that it's probably because of something I've been in contact with, but like nothing has changed. I haven't even been in my house the past couple of days, I've been at my boyfriend's house. So I don't understand what it is that's causing it. I feel like I've reached a point where I'd do anything to make it go away.
My uncle is struggling with his mental health at the moment. He's messaged me a few times and even though I get how he's feeling I just don't know what to say to him.
I saw an old lady today at the bus stop, she looked and sounded so much like my nan but it was probably just me missing her so much that I can see her in other people. I did the same thing when my grandad passed away. The amount of times I could have sworn that I saw him was unreal. You never really get used to them being gone though do you? Like even now I have moments when I feel like it was just yesterday that I was sat in the living room with him as he did a jigsaw. Maybe that's just what the brain does, make you feel like they're still here so that the though of not seeing them again doesn't completely overwhelm you.
It's different with my grandad though, because I can still go to his grave and talk to him. Even though he can't hear me, or reply, I still feel closer to him just by being there. There doesn't seem to be anything I can do to feel that close to my nan and it makes it so much harder. But what am I supposed to do?
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