The problem with feeling less suicidal is that I realise how much time I have to do things. It makes me wish that I'd had the gap year that I wanted to do the art foundation. I know that the medication was making it difficult to be creative and it still is but I shouldn't have been so scared that doing a year of art would mean I'd never make it to university. I'm here and I really don't think I should have rushed into it, settling for whatever accomodation was left and starting a course I wasn't prepared for. That's the whole point of foundation courses, even if you're not pursuing the subject, they're a half way between how you learn at college and university. I miss having an excuse to make art and I miss having my pet snails to cuddle. Maybe I'm just feeling 'homesick' but even when I was living at my parent's I didn't feel like I was home.
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