I got a letter through from the psychiatrist - a summery of the appointment with my mum. It says my uncle attempted suicide. That's all it says about it, no details, not even how long ago it was. But now I feel like they've been lying to me all this time, did he even have cancer? Did they just make it up because it seemed like an easier thing to say? But I can't exactly bring it up, I wouldn't even know how to start. I think I'm just going to try to pretend like they made a mistake when they were writing it. Alongside the specific details they wrote that my mum told them about my suicide plans - there's no way she'd know that.
I like the way she missed out all the details that made her look bad - how she used to hit me, that she took me to see someone when I was little because she thought I was messed up, how she used to try to bribe me into doing what she wanted. I can't believe she's told them that I was the one who caused trouble at primary school, the other children were horrible to me and I was trying to defend myself. Not to mention all the times I got blamed for things other people had done. 'I was better behaved at high school' only because I let them hurt me and I started taking out the anger on myself. Maybe I am a bad person, but I'm not completely to blame for everything.
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