I know I said that there's nothing stopping me from going through with killing myself, but I think there is now. Because I always felt worse at night, but falling asleep next to him makes me feel safe. And I know that I shouldn't rely on a person to make me feel ok because 'what if they go away?' but he's all I have right now.
The side effects of the tablets seem to be starting to wear off. So I've just got to hold out for them starting to help now. Hopefully that won't be too long.
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