I get so scared sometimes and it makes it really difficult to sleep on my own, I keep waking up. The other night after I got back to my room I don't know what to do. I messaged my best friend and went to her room. I ended up falling asleep on her. Having someone close to me makes it easier. I'd reached a point with my boyfriend where I was actually sleeping better because he was with me, but then if we spent a night apart I wouldn't sleep at all. That probably explains why I'm not sleeping well now.

I get myself in this state where I'm tired, confused and disorientated. It feels like I'm alone in the world and sometimes like nothing even exists. It's terrifying.

But it doesn't feel like there's anything I can do about. The sleeping tablets don't help because they just make me end up in a worse state when I do wake up during the night. So at the moment I just seem to stay awake until I reach a point when so I'm so exhausted that I can't keep my eyes open. I don't think I can keep doing this. Though what choice do I have?