Crying- something I definitely didn't miss when I was taking Citalopram. Sleeping- something I missed when on Citalopram. I can safely say I am doing more of both now, yet I can't work out if I'm any better off for it.
The suicidal thoughts are still there all day every day. I've even worked out a plan, I just need to buy the tools to implement it. I should tell someone so they can stop me, but I don't want to be stopped. I can't drink alcohol when taking these tablets so, the suicide plans, they're all I've got right now. They're the only thing that helps me feel in control. I've almost forgotten that the only way I have ever really been able to control them was by getting drunk.
On a more positive note, my head feels clear for the first day since my almost suicide. Maybe things are starting to look up again.
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