If I eat I fail my exams, if I don't eat I do well. I have evidence of that - In year 11 I got over eight A*'s but in year 12 I failed most of my subjects. In year 11 I ate little more than a banana each day for over a month, in year 12 I was eating almost 3 meals a day. Now I eat as little as I can get away with, refusing even an evening meal despite the excuses I have to make up to try to stop my mother worrying. Yet I can't stop thinking about food. Today I ate pasta - adding too many onions as a way to punish myself. I don't deserve to eat. I don't deserve to enjoy eating. I don't deserve to be happy. I need to study. I need to pass my exams. I don't need to eat. Not today.
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