It's weird, when you get diagnosed with something like cancer everyone prepares themselves to watch you die. I know they might try to be positive and hope you'll get better but the thought is still there in their mind. But when you get diagnosed with a mental health condition they seem shocked by the same principle.
I know it must be horrible to watch someone you love dying, especially if it appears that they are doing it to themselves but there isn't really much you can do about it is there? Because much like a cancer patient it is the illness that is killing them and no matter what you do you can't make it go away.
Don't get me wrong, I want to get better and since seeing the psychologist I think maybe it might be possible. But right now there are still more bad days than good and I haven't found a way to deal with them yet that doesn't involve hurting myself. But it's a process and I'm working in it. I will find something. I'll find a way to live without doing all this. I promise. Because that's the chance I get, to try to save you all the suffering of watching me die.
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