I don't feel real. Nothing feels real. So it shouldn't matter that I'm not eating. It shouldn't matter that I can't sleep. It shouldn't matter that I burned and cut my leg - it's not even that bad. I wanted to feel something but nothing is enough.
I know for certain now that I've failed this year. My lecturer seemed concerned that I still have a lot of work to do for the assignment, I didn't tell him I'd literally only just started it when he came over to see how I was doing.
I'm not smoking or drinking as much which should be good, but it's only because it doesn't seem to be helping right now. I keep feeling really nauseous and anxious - even around my boyfriend. Usually when I'm with him I feel less anxious.
It feels like since I came off the sertraline nothing's changed. I still feel just as aweful as I did on it. And it's taking so much from me to not just give up and run away from everything. But I'm not even sure where I'd go anymore. I'm sorry.
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